My Brother Jim

When my wife, Gail, passed away 3 years ago, I was so angry. Especially sometimes when I would see other couples around our age. My thoughts were around “how come they had their spouses and I didn't have mine”. What turned me around one day, as I was a hiking along a certain trail in the redwoods of Northern California, is that it struck me that I shouldn't be angry, but rather should be rejoicing in all the things that Gail brought into my life. Not only our four wonderful kids, but also her immediate family. Someone could not have better in-laws. Her younger brother, Jim, soon became my best friend. Gail always called him “Jimmy”. I think that was to remind Jim that she was his BIG sister. Gail was barely 5'3” and Jim was 6'1”.

You know how sometimes we don't recognize greatness until someone passes away. I think that is somewhat true of the Knudson's. They were usually in the background, not seeking any glory, but working to make a difference in the world. I was born and raised Catholic, and have attended many funerals. Most are small affairs, with a couple of handfuls of mourners, a priest and some alter servers. Not so with this Knudson family. When Jim and Gail's dad passed away, the funeral was in a large church. It was pretty much full. More amazing was the fact that there were close to twenty priests there celebrating the mass. How did this quiet man affect so many? Simple, he raised a family dedicated to serving others. When Gail passed away, my children and I were amazed at how many people were at the funeral. Our church is also a large one and was nearly full. There were 5 priests. In looking back, that isn't surprising. Gail spent her life ministering to others through nursing, as a pastoral minister and simply as a friend you could rely on.

And I'm sure Jim's funeral this weekend will be the same. Jim spent most of his working career as a high school counselor. He was a Jesuit Volunteer in Alaska. He and Donna are members of a parish, not near their home like most of us, but one in downtown Tacoma which is dedicated to serving the community there. That church is going to be packed!

When Gail passed away, Jim was the one other person the kids wanted in her room when the machines were turned off. I think that in itself shows how close we all were to him.

A few years ago, I commented to Jim what a great brother-in-law he was. He looked at me and said “I wish you wouldn't call me that”. I was taken aback. Then he continued “I consider you my brother and I hope you feel the same way”. I did, and I still do.

“Jim, your one of the greatest men I've know, from a great family. I am proud to be your brother. I miss you”.